Effective earthquaking

Today a magnitude 7.7 earthquake shook eastern Indonesia. The quake was centered 120 miles off the coast, some 212 miles deep.

While this might seem like a near disaster averted merely by nature's good will, it's actually the direct result of a business practice that has become quite common in recent years.

An anonymous Indonesian official reported, "After seeing the ravaging impact of various earthquakes throughout Asia in recent years, we realized that we could significantly reduce the economic and human costs of an earthquake if we simply offshored it."

Hamas adopts two state charter

In perhaps the most gracious move since winning a resounding victory in recent Palestinian elections, the militant Hamas party has adopted their own version of the two-state charter adopted by their predecessors.

A senior Hamas official was quoted as saying, "We are fine with a two state solution. They'll just need a lot of snorkels."