There's always hope

Reuters today reports that Ayman al-Zawahri, Al Qaeda's appropriately numbered number-two man, called President Bush a "lying failure and charlatan" in regard to the war on terrorism.

(Does he really know what a charlatan is? Is there an Al-Qaeda-language equivalent so specific to "charlatan?" Or was this a bored translator abusing his poetic license?)

This is a breakthrough: The discovery that a high-level Al Qaeda leader and many Americans both agree on something. I suspect similar agreement could be reached on the social and moral worth of Jackass: Number Two, now in theatres too near you.

One hopes that we'd find other common ground and somehow be able to end this thing in time for the playoffs.

For Churchill Downs

"Paige, why do you refer to condoms as derby hats?"
"Because when Bob puts one on he's saddling up for the fastest two minutes in bed."

Opposite extremes

The American government established laws restricting euthenasia.

The Chinese government established laws restricting youth in Asia.

Effective earthquaking

Today a magnitude 7.7 earthquake shook eastern Indonesia. The quake was centered 120 miles off the coast, some 212 miles deep.

While this might seem like a near disaster averted merely by nature's good will, it's actually the direct result of a business practice that has become quite common in recent years.

An anonymous Indonesian official reported, "After seeing the ravaging impact of various earthquakes throughout Asia in recent years, we realized that we could significantly reduce the economic and human costs of an earthquake if we simply offshored it."

Hamas adopts two state charter

In perhaps the most gracious move since winning a resounding victory in recent Palestinian elections, the militant Hamas party has adopted their own version of the two-state charter adopted by their predecessors.

A senior Hamas official was quoted as saying, "We are fine with a two state solution. They'll just need a lot of snorkels."

Today's Headline

Today's headline reads "Saddam Claims He's Been Beaten."

Well, he's been deposed as leader of Iraq, captured, photographed without a fresh shave and manicure, and is on trial. He's just now realizing he's been beaten?

Gratuitous sax and violins

The world needs some oft-neglected musical forms to perform under that headline. Should get some attention, which needs to be done.

Mean it

Saying 'I'm sorry' means nothing if it's just the right thing to say. Meaning you're sorry, being sorry, it showing in what you do or don't do, is what matters.

Saying 'thank you' means nothing if it's just the right thing to say. Meaning you're grateful, being grateful, it showing in what you do or don't do, is what matters.